~The Aron~
What
exactly do I mean by, "we are the afikoman?" We all
know about the afikoman, the very last food we are
to eat at the Passover seder. The Rabbis tell us
that nothing else should be consumed after we eat
this treat. Of course, after the long seder at our
homes, who wants to eat any more? I just want to
sing a few verses of Chad Gadya and call it a night.
But
let's think "out-of-the-aron for a bit. The work we
do is at the very edge of life. On one level, it is
this "afikoman" work on the body that intrigues us,
and challenges us, and we are indeed proud that
nothing else happens to that body after we lovingly
cradle it into the aron.
But what
about the soul? How do we bring the "soul business"
its "Afikoman?" Is this even possible? And do we
want, or need, to involve ourselves in this
spiritual arena, too? And what would it look like if
we did? Should we pray for the soul of the met/a? We
do already. Should we involve ourselves even more
than we do with the family and invite them to
address their loved one's "soul business?" For some
of our families, the physical work of tahara is
sufficient. But who knows, perhaps some would want
more from us.
I have
always felt a missing piece to our work, the soul's
afikoman. I want to go even farther than we do, I
want to say to each family: "You know, they cannot
truly leave this earth until you allow them to do
so, so you need to talk among yourselves about
forgiveness and not holding grudges and apologizing
to your loved one, and to each other. You need to
talk about healing the wounds of this family so that
this death will matter, so that you can go forth
"from mourning to morning, from pain and sadness to
a life of joy and hope. You need to do all this, or
else this becomes "only" a physical death, with few
redeeming blessings."
This is
what I want to say, but I dare not, for fear of
treading on raw emotions. And who am I, anyway, for
wanting to intrude myself upon a mourning family?
But perhaps we need to think more about this aspect
of Chevra Kadisha, on what it means to bring the
soul its Afikoman, as well as the body. It seems
like a logical next-step to me, what do you think?
I'll see you in Edmonton, and hopefully we'll have
some time to chat about this and other important
areas of our work. That's if the Mall doesn't wear
us down... Lehitraot, see you all soon!
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Greetings! |
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A Word From David Zinner |
What
insights can I share to encourage you to
attend a Chevra Kadisha conferences?
Over the last five conferences, I find
that we initially focus on what
knowledge we can gain. It is true that
there is a tremendous amount of
information available about chevra
kadisha issues. Conferences provide the
opportunity to learn from experts.
Understanding the history, textual
sources, liturgy, practice variations,
educational strategies and organizing
techniques will help us improve our
Chevra Kadisha groups! Yet over the last
five years I've learned that the "take
home" message is more subtle, more
nuanced, and much more powerful. In
addition to the learning, conferences
provide inspiration, support, and
insight. They promote networking,
problem sharing and solving, and a
different understanding of what we do.
Conferences provide a spiritual context
for our personal growth. And they give
us "permission" to talk about God,
spirituality, emotions and feelings with
each other and with those who have lost
a loved one. You can't get that in a
book or a movie. It only comes from
human to human contact. Immerse yourself
in the Chevra Kadisha conference. Let
the mikveh of community, support and
transform you. Your feelings, your
Judaism and your life will be changed. I
look forward to seeing you in Edmonton
June 10-12.
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Chevra Kadisha News |
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Kavod
v'Nichum's Fifth North American Chevra
Kadisha Conference will be held in
Edmonton, Canada from June 10-12, 2007
in conjunction with the 100th
anniversary of the Edmonton Chevra
Kadisha. The conference features
networking, workshops, lectures and
demonstrations. Invited key note speaker
is Rabbi Maurice Lamm.
Register now.
Need to
make recommendations to the local Jewish
film festival? Try
My Mexican Shivah, set in Polanco, a
Jewish quarter of Mexico City, and
spoken in Spanish, Yiddish and Hebrew,
this dramatic comedy is about how the
death of a man results in the
celebration of his life.
My Secret: The Wisdom of 400 Funerals
- A Montreal rabbi's renewed sense of
purpose from excessive funeral
attendance.
1954 - It
was a sad and sacred moment. The
bereaved family and other mourners were
gathered around a gravesite in King
David Memorial Park, near Falls Church,
Va. across the Potomac from Washington.
Suddenly, as the rabbi bowed his head in
prayer, a raucous blast of music
disrupted the burial ceremony.
Read more about this story.
The NY
Jewish Week periodically prints articles
that touch on death and mourning themes.
Here's a selections that goes back a few
years. ·
Miracle At Iquitos - 1/19/2007 ·
No Direction Home For Kaddish -
11/17/2006 ·
The Caress Of Kaddish - 7/21/2006 ·
A Place To Mourn - 6/16/2006 ·
Kaddish With The Pope - 6/2/2006 ·
Tuesdays With The Great Hasson -
11/18/2005
When you can't make it to the funeral
- c
Plaza website.
How Ants Bury Their Dead - from NPR
In connection with "Mitzvah Day" at a local
synagogue, the T.o.T. (aka "Sew What?")
group met to assemble tachrichim. Two of
us had pre-cut the pieces and packaged
them with assembly instructions. At the
gathering we had two doing ironing, 7
sewing machines, two hand- sewing, one
coaching, and one sorting and folding
pieces and ties. Assembly instructions
for all the pieces can be found on
www.threadsoftradition.org -- click
on "tachrichim" in the center at the
bottom.
Turn Memory Into Blessing - the
Yizkor cycle
The Spring issue of the United Synagogue Review has
a tahara article by Ilene Rubenstein:
"Forever Changed " and an
article on the Chevra Kadisha: *The
Final Journey - A Tale of Two Cities"
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