Story of the Stone Fruit

When I volunteered to start the web site for the Jewish Funeral Practices Committee in January of 1998, I had no idea of how all consuming this project would become. Two years and over 25,000 hits later, I consider the site my contribution, my living memorial for my paternal grandparents who were active in their Chevrah Kaddisha in Germany and St. Louis and who taught me about Orthodox Judaism; and to my maternal grandparents who taught me the virtues of patience and persistence through stamp collecting and long walks.

I love the content of the site, with its eclectic mix and broad range. But the site looked too plain, so ordinary. Keeping the site plain and ordinary seemed to be in keeping with Rabbi Gamaliel’s declaration almost 1000 years ago that Jews should be buried in simple garments and without ostentation. This radical pronouncement is a major cornerstone for Jewish funeral practice. But the reality is that most people avoid any discussion of death at all costs. A discussion of traditions around preparing the body after death is not what most would consider light reading.

So I asked my wife Rozzy if her new business, Shaftani Web Design, could come up with a look befitting traditional Jewish Funeral Practice. She agreed to take on the project. Of course she is uniquely qualified for this task. She has always loved art and design. Her father, Herman, created unique newspaper ads – short, witty, ironic, and sophisticated using lots of white space. Rozzy carries on his work, combining the patience of a therapist (who else could put up with me for 30 years) with the artistic flair of a potter.

After many late nights, she showed me the first draft. "Nice", I said. "But what is the block thing with the circle, and what is inside it?"

She explained that she had a clip art disk with pictures from Israel. Out of thousands of pictures, this one appealed to her. Now I know she’s been living with this Chevrah stuff for many years, and has internalized much of the information because she’s heard it so many times. After sifting through thousands of pictures, had she come up with something unique that combined the visually pleasing with the truly symbolic?

I tested it on the committee. By the way, the committee, 13 of the most dedicated, self-less, wonderful human beings in the world, meets about 4 times a year to develop educational strategies around Jewish Funeral Practices. The core group has been fairly consistent for over 10 years!

Diane, the professional museum curator, loved the new site design, but wanted to know about the block. "It looks like it has fruit in it. Can you tell me the meaning? Everything has a meaning."

I wrote to the CD publisher to ask for details on the origin of the picture and on its meaning. I received a response of "We have no idea!"

I looked through web sites devoted to exotic fruits. I looked at web sites devoted to archeology. I looked at books. I asked knowledgeable friends if they had seen this design before. I had the feeling someone out there knew what this block thing was.

Then, working on the new site late at night, I noticed that Rozzy had given the graphic a name – she called it stonefruit. That struck a chord. Diane was right, it does have a meaning. But we don’t have to wait for someone else to tell us what that meaning is. The question I should have been asking and answering is "What does it mean to me?"

Stone – the traditional material that we use to remember our loved ones. The material used for a monument on a grave with inscriptions of names and dates. It is where we go to intensify the feelings we have for our relatives who have died. It is a part of our history, the genealogy of our people. It is the way we honor the dead and provide future generations a means to participate in their remembrance.

Fruit – symbol of life and sustenance, holding the potential for new growth. Fruit symbolizes hope and brings comfort. Despite the reality of death, we bring children into the world because we are eternally optimistic that there is much good that they can accomplish. We provide them fruit for nourishment of their body and we speak of the symbolic fruit to nourish their soul.

Stonefruit is symbolic – It shows kavod ha-met, respect and honor for the dead and nihum avelim, comfort, support and strength for the living.

Some day I’ll get an e-mail from someone telling me who discovered the stone, where the stone was found and the kind of fruit depicted. But the story of the stone fruit is not a story of facts. It is a story of feelings, of creativity, of love, of dedication and determination, qualities that we bring to improve the life of the Jewish People.