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Unveiling of the Monument for Herman Ehudin

This unveiling service is provided to the Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Washington web site
 with the gracious permission of Betty Ehudin and her family in memory of Herman Ehudin


Unveiling of the Monument for Herman Ehudin

Sunday, October 24, 1999 - 14 Cheshvan 5760


1.   Introduction and Welcome


Herman Ehudin died on Saturday, December 5, 1998, Shabbat, the 16th of Kislev 5759.

He was buried here at Beth Tfiloh Cemetery the following Monday.

He was beloved husband of Betty Ehudin.

He was the father of Eileen, Roslyn and Lori.

He was the brother of Morton and Irv.

He was the father-in-law of Dennis and David.

He was the grandfather of Melanie, Erik, Leah, Naomi, Jonathan, Emily, and Noah.

It was here that Naomi, Jonathan, Emily, Dennis, and David lovingly filled Herman's grave after the funeral. Today we gather to remember him and to dedicate a monument in his memory.


2.   Companions - inspired by the poetry of Russia


When we think of those companions who traveled by our side down life's road,

let us not say with sadness that they left us behind,

but rather say with gratitude

that they once were with us


3.   Hold On - from Many Winters - Nancy Woods

Hold on to what is good

even if it is

a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe

even if it is

a tree which stands by itself.


Hold on to what you must do

even if it is

a long way from here.

Hold on to life even when

it is easier letting go.

Hold on to my hand even when

I have gone away from you.

4.   To Everything There Is A Season - Ecclesiastes

To everything there is a season;

A time for everything under the sun.

A time to be born and a time to die,

A time to laugh and a time to mourn,

A time to seek and a time to lose.

This is a time we gather to remember

someone who gave meaning to our lives.

This is the time we recall

the bonds that hold us, the love we shared,

the memories that sustain us.


5.   Birth Is A Beginning - Alvin I. Fine

Birth is a beginning

And death a destination.

And life is a journey:

From childhood to maturity

And youth to age;

From innocence to awareness

And. ignorance to knowing;

From foolishness to discretion

            And then perhaps to wisdom.

From weakness to strength

Or strength to weakness-

            And, often back again;

From health to sickness.

            And back., we pray, to health again;

From offense to forgiveness,

From loneliness to love,

From joy to gratitude,

From pain to compassion,

And grief to understanding-

            From fear to faith;


From defeat to defeat to defeat-

Until, looking backward or ahead,

We see that victory lies

Not at some high place along the way,

But in having made the journey, stage by stage,           

            A sacred pilgrimage.

Birth is a beginning

And death a destination.       

But life is a journey,

A sacred pilgrimage-

            To life everlasting.


6.   We Are Loved By An Unending Love - Rabbi Rami Shapiro

We are loved by an unending love.

We are embraced by arms that find us even when we are hidden from ourselves.

We are touched by fingers that soothe us even when we are too proud for soothing.

We are counseled by voices that guide us even when we are too embittered to hear.

We are loved by an unending love.

We are supported by hands that uplift us even in the midst of a fall.

We are urged on by eyes that meet us even when we are too weak for meeting.

We are loved by an unending love.

Embraced, touched, soothed, and counseled,

Ours are the arms, the fingers, the voices;

Ours are the hands, the eyes, the smiles;

We are loved by an unending love.


7.   Knowing Love - Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love

I will allow all things to come and go

To be a supple as the wind

and to take everything that comes with great courage

Life is right in any case

and my heart will remain as open as the sky...


8.   After a WhileVeronica A. Shoffstall 

After a while, you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,

And that company doesn't always mean security.

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts,

And presents aren't promises.


And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes straight ahead,

With the grace of a woman or a man,

Not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.


After a while you learn that even sunshine burns

If you ask too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.


And you learn that you really can endure,

And that you really are strong,

And that you really have worth,


And you learn, and you learn...

With every goodbye, you learn        


9.   There are Stars - Hannah Szenes

There are stars whose light reaches the earth

only after they themselves have disintegrated and are no more.


And there are people whose scintillating memory

lights the world after they have passed from it.


These lights which shine in the darkest night

are those which illumine for us the path.


10.                    Prayer For Those Not With Us

As we stand here, full of pride and love,

our hearts and thoughts recall others who are not with us. 

And yet, they are so much a part of us and our lives, that it is hard not to feel them present.

A child's gesture recalls that of a grandparent he never knew. 

An act of kindness and generosity reminds us of the example of a much loved aunt or uncle

The laugh of one recalls for us the joy of another.

A chain of memory and blood binds us one to the other

thru the years and thru the generations,

and now, with a full heart, we pause and remember and proudly add to that chain.


11.                    Relatives at Beth Tfiloh Cemetery

We note that this cemetery, Beth Tfiloh, is where 14 of Herman's relatives are buried. They include his parents, Morris and Reba, his father's sister Ella, his father's brother Joshua's son Marcy and his wife Rose, their daughter Marilyn; and Joshua's son Albert's first wife Sally; his mother's sisters Celia, Sonia and Rose and Rose's husband Jacob; and Sonia's husband Hyman.

12.                    Unveiling and Dedication

[Remove the cloth from the stone.]  [Read from the stone's inscription as shown below.]


Beloved Husband, Father & Grandfather


Chaiim Bar Moshe

Feb. 22, 1919 - Dec. 5, 1998

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways"

In memory of Herman Ehudin, we establish and consecrate this monument.

It is a token of our deep love and respect.

He is remembered now, and forever, part of the good in each of us.

May his soul be bound up in the bonds of life.


13.                    How do I Love Thee - Adapted from Elizabeth Barrett Browning


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight

I love the freely, as men strive for right;

I love thee purely as they turn from praise.

I love the with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life

And if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death


14.                    Sharing of memories


15.                    23rd Psalm

God is my shepherd; I shall not want.

You cradle me in green pastures;

You lead me beside tranquil waters.

You restore my soul;

You guide me in the paths of righteousness.


Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, For you are with me;

Your rod and your staff comfort me.

Surely goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of God, forever.

16.                     My Hereafter - Juniata De Long

Do not come when I am dead

To sit beside a low green mound,

or bring the first gay daffodils

Because I love them so

For I shall not be there.

You cannot find me there.


I will look up at you from the eyes

Of little children;

I will bend to meet you in the swaying boughs

Of bud-thrilled trees,

And caress you with the passionate sweep

Of storm-filled winds;

I will give you strength in your upward tread

Of everlasting hills;

I will cool your tired body in the flow

Of the limpid river;

I will warm your work-glorified hands through the glow

Of the winter fire;


I will soothe you into forgetfulness to the drop, drop

Of the rain on the roof;

I will speak to you out of the rhymes

Of the masters;

I will dance with you in the lilt

Of the violin,

And make your heart leap with the bursting cadence

Of the organ;

I will flood your soul with the flaming radiance

Of the sunrise,

And bring you peace in the tender rose and go1d

Of the after-sunset.


All these have made me happy

They are a part of me;

I shall become a part of them.


17.                    El Malei Rachamim - God Filled with Compassion

Let God remember the soul of Herman Ehudin

who went to his place of eternal rest.

Please let his soul be bound up with living in the continuum of life,

and may his rest be honorable.

Grant him abundant joy in your presence,

and sweet pleasures at your right hand for eternity. Amen.


God filled with mercy

dwelling in the heavens' heights,

grant perfect peace beneath the wings of your Shechinah,

amid the ranks of the holy and the pure,

illuminating like the brilliance of the skies

the souls of our beloved and our blameless

who went to their eternal place of rest.

May you who are the source of mercy

shelter them beneath your wings eternally,

and bind their souls among the living,

that they may rest in peace.

And let us say: Amen.


18.                    We Remember Them -- adapted by Rabbi Roland Gittelsohn from a poem by Rabbi Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer

At the rising of the sun and at its going down...

We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter...

We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring...

We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer...

We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn...

We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends...

We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart...

We remember them.

When we have joy we crave to share

We remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make...

We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live,

for they are now a part of us...

And we remember them.


19.                   Mourner's Kaddish

Mourners: Yit-ga-dal ve-yit-ka-dash she-mey ra-ba

Be-al-ma div-ra chir-u-tey

Ve-yam-lich mal-chu-tey

Be-cha-yey-chon uv-yo-me-chon uv-cha-yey de-chol beyt yis-ra-el

Ba-a-ga-la u-viz-man ka-riv

ve-im-ru a-men.


Congregation: Ye-hey she-mey ra-ba me-va-rach

le-a-lam ul-al-mey al-ma-ya.


Mourners: Yit-ba-rach ve-yish-ta-bach ve-yit-pa-ar ve-yit-ro-mam


Ve-yit-ha-dar ve-yit-a-leh ve-yit-ha-lal she-mey de-kud-sha

Be-rich hu

Le-ela le-ela mi-kol bir-cha-ta

ve-shi-ra-ta tush-be-cha-ta

ve-ne-che-ma-ta da-a-mi-ran


ve-im-ru a-men.


Ye-hey she-la-ma ra-ba min


Ve-cha-yim a-ley-nu ve-al kol

yis-ra-el ve-im-ru a-men.


O-seh sha-lom bim-ro-mav

hu ya-a-seh sha-lom a-ley-nu

ve-al kol yis-ra-el

ve-al kol yosh-vey tevel

ve-im-ru amen.

Mourners: Let God's name be made great and holy in the world that was created as God willed.


May God complete the holy realm in your own lifetime, in your days, and in the days of all the house of Israel, quickly and soon.

And say: Amen.


Congregation: May God's great name be blessed, forever and as long as worlds endure.



Mourners: May it be blessed, and praised, and glorified, and held in honor, viewed with awe, embellished, and revered; and may the blessed name of holiness be hailed, though it be higher by far than all the blessings, songs, praises, and consolations that we utter in this world.





And say: Amen.


May Heaven grant a universal peace, and life for us, and for all Israel. 


And say: Amen.

May the one who creates harmony above, make peace for us and for all Israel, and for all who dwell on earth.


And say: Amen